goefflazerramsey:

;; He couldn’t tell if Ryan was trying to be frightening on purpose or just overwhelmed by emotion. The latter, probably, but it was no excuse. Someone else was bound to come in soon and see them in the middle of this. He was surprised that someone hadn’t already, actually. 

;; Of course Ryan would pull the entire speech out on him - some bullshit about how Geoff was different, that he loves him. Geoff closed his eyes hard and squeezed the bridge of his nose, attempting to subside some of this pounding in his head. Why the fuck did he even come into work today? There was honestly no way that he was going to get any work done after this entire thing. It was hard enough not to just shut down on Ryan and walk out.

;; “I’m not going to do this.” He shook his head, a ball of guilt welling up in his throat. “Get over your fucking feelings because I’m not going to do this.” That’s what Geoff had to do, right? His voice was low, but it still cracked like a fucking teenage girl. “You just - you don’t get it, do you? It’s not about if you love me or not. It’s not that simple, Ryan.” He took a deep breath; if he was going to have a breakdown in the middle of work he might as well go all-out. “I don’t work in relationships. I don’t know how to do it and I ruin everything. I care about you too much to put you through that. I don’t want to ruin things with you, but here you are dumping all this on me acting like it’s perfectly fine.”

;; “I’m going home.” Geoff stood, not even bothering to look at Ryan.. Something in him just shut off- a defense mechanism that Geoff was all too familiar with. “Forget this happened, Ryan. Get over your feelings for me and don’t bring it up again.” This would be the best for both of them. Geoff refused to disappoint Ryan like he did everyone else. Ryan could be happy, just not with him.

Ryan had no idea what to do next. He was baring his soul to this man he trusted enough to take care of it. Even through all of this fighting, this nonsense Geoff was spewing to him as if he was worthless, he still wanted to be with him. No matter what he would say, it wasn’t going to waver his feeling for him.

Why was Geoff shoving him away? What was so wrong with the idea of being with him that Geoff couldn’t at least give him a chance?

The cracking voice projecting at him sounded exhausted, worn down. But he couldn’t just give up that easy– he couldn’t just discard what had grown between them in such a split second. If it were that simple, he probably would’ve done it by now. It’s not like Ryan asked for this to happen– it just did. And what he would give to make it go away, to just have it disappear and not have to worry about fucking up their relationship any further than it was now.

But that wasn’t going to happen. Not again.

“Why?” Ryan stood up fast enough to make his chair knock backwards. “Why are you being so self-destructive?” His hands were closed tightly at his side. He wanted to hit something. He wanted to let the anxiety out physically. He wanted to know why he wasn’t being given an opportunity to show what he was worth. “I just want to know why you believe so little in yourself that you can’t even give this a chance.”