I'm a trustworthy guy. Sometimes.
[[ Indie roleplay & ask blog for Ryan Haywood ]]
Threadtracker: cuteryan
Slightly Roleplay Selective
Multi-Ship & Multi-Verse
Willing to do any and all AUs
“I hate clowns.” He murmured into Ryan’s shoulder. He wanted to answer the questions that were asked, but he couldn’t think of anything. There wasn’t really an answer to them, and that probably bothered him the most.
So instead, he did the only thing that he knew how to do, the thing that was really there.
Ray moved so he was in Ryan’s lap. He always had poor judgement during these times, and kissing Ryan seemed like a really good idea so he did it. It wasn’t sweet and slow, it was harsh and bite at the other’s lower lip to get him open up. “I don’t care what happens in the morning but please… just tonight…” He mumbled against him.
Eyes widening, he sat stock-still. He fell in to the kiss, his eyes closing, brows furrowing. And then Ray pulled away, said something. The instant Ray had started kissing him, everything that he could possibly remember thinking of all those lonely nights he’s had after murdering and the thoughts of Ray that brought him spiraling back from insanity.
“Of course.”
Ryan pushed Ray down on the couch, kneeling on all fours over him like an animal. He leaned down and bit at Ray’s fuzzy jawline, breathing hot air down the other’s neck. “You don’t know how many times I’ve thought about doing this.” He brought his hand down the length of Ray’s side. “How many times I’ve thought about fucking you on this couch, on the job, anywhere, actually.” His palm snaked right on top of Ray’s crouch, hardly even touching him. “Are you sure you want this?”
Ray never liked the rain, it reminded him too much of New York. The rain here was usually warm but the point still stood. Even when warm, it chilled his skin. “Well, that’s good because I enjoy you’re company as well.” His voice was low and he hoped that he didn’t need to repeat it.
He turned his head slowly towards Ryan. The intensity of his gaze made him flinch though. Ray still wasn’t so used to people caring so much about him like everybody did here. One could almost call them family. But the only family that Ray had known was cold to them so they weren’t family at all, they were better.
“Nothing….’s the matter.” His eyes couldn’t meet Ryan’s because it was obviously a lie. If he was fine then he wouldn’t be here, trying not to cry. It was failing though, and he felt tears slip back his glasses. He let out a curse and wiped at them. “I don’t feel so good, Ryan. Brownman fells like shit.” It was a hollow joke that was followed by a hollow laugh that went with a hollow smile.
He let out a long sigh, quirking a brow at Ray when he said nothing was wrong. His head tilted a little more while he watched him wipe away the tears. “The tears of a sad clown.” Ryan’s voice mused. He had figured Ray was a man to shelter his feelings with humor. Even if he knew a lot about the guy already, didn’t mean he wasn’t surprised by his actions every once and a while. Especially tonight.
Why would he come to you of all people, Ryan? Why would he want to even talk to you?
The questions piled in his head, wondering about Ray’s choice. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had come to hi about their feelings. “What do you want me to do?” The question had come out a little more blunt than he meant it to be.
Quick, say something better!
“I mean…” He sighed deeply, not knowing exactly what to do. Ryan pivoted his body to sit closer to Ray and wrapped his arm around him, his hand rubbing Ray’s shoulder. “I’ll always be here for you, Ray. Without a doubt.”
Ray didn’t say anything as he walked into the place. His arms were wrapped around himself and he was slouched some. The Puerto Rican made a beeline for the couch and fell right into it.
‘Just hold yourself longer. Just a little bit longer. Don’t want to scare Ryan.’ Ray thought to himself and sniffed again. He could feel a few tears running down his face already but he wiped at them.
“S-sorry for barging in. You probably were enjoying a quiet day for once, and I ruined it.” He tried to smile but it felt weird on his lips so he stopped. He looked out the window, and wiped his nose again.
His lips pursed in to a slight frown, closing the door. Narvaez was a wreck tonight and it obviously showed. “Ray, you’re.. you’re not bothering me.. I rather enjoy your company, actually.” Ryan spoke as he walked over and sat next to him, his body angled to focus the entirety of his attention on him.
Head tilting, he tried to catch Ray’s eyes as they peered out the window. The small splatters of rain beginning to tap on the glass panel almost pulled him away from his friend. The rain was one of Ryan’s most comforting sounds he could hear, other than lightning. He loved the loud, cracking waves and it always drew him to go outside and enjoy it while it was there.
But, no. He couldn’t this time. Ray needed him and he was definitely more important. His eyes were still locked on Ray, pushing aside all of the creepy staring critique he had received in the past. His expression was sincere and concerned, wanting to do whatever was in his power to make that distraught face cheerful again. “Ray?.. What’s the matter?”
Ray hated himself. He never showed it to anybody, he was told not show his true emotions, that they made people vulnerable. Some days, he could pretend that he was ok, put on a fake smile, and fool everyone.
There were days though…. he couldn’t hide it. There were days that it would all come rushing out to the surface and he would cry to himself in his apartment, and the only thing holding himself together was his own arms wrapped around himself.
This day was different though, he knew he needed someone to hold him this time. Ray didn’t realize where he was till he was knocking at Ryan’s door. He was as good as any, Ray thought as he wiped his nose.
Ryan had been sipping a bev on his couch when he heard a rap on the door. He set down his drink, got up and crossed the room to see who it was. He wasn’t expecting anyone. No one really came over to visit him for the matter.
He cautiously cracked the door open, peering out. Once he recognized that it was Ray, he swung the door open, a small smile on his face. “Hey, Ray.” It took a few second for him to realize Ray was obviously disgruntled. “Oh.. Ray?” He felt the concern rise in his chest seeing his friend in this state.
“Um, you wanna come in?” Ryan stepped aside to let him enter his house. His gaze fell to the floor, not wanting to make Ray feel uncomfortable by staring too long. He had been told it was creepy when he did. “I really wouldn’t mind.”
